Possibly about my new house; often full to the brim with people and laughter, food and gin (!)
But equal parts lonely beyond belief as I job hunt by myself during the days and battle off a feeling of worthlessness as I sell myself on paper.
Or I could write about this place i've given myself too, full of litter, people, people always occupying the space day and night. Sometimes in a mellow and sometimes in an abrasive way.
I've been amazed at the openness here, a man who drives an ice-cream van gave me a cone for free just because I stopped for a chat and to ask him his name. then there's the man on my road who sings ABBA to me as I walk home from work because he once caught me singing Mamma Mia to myself...!
Its strange to be living somewhere intentionally,
I don't think I've ever done that before. Its not easy, I'm working hard to commit to it. As Autumn gets into its flow I have a deep aching feeling, remembering the adventure and promise of this time last year.
What I wouldn't give to run away to the Alps again.
Lord there is pain in this offering.
Every time I get a little bit too tempted he gently reminds me that me and him have things to do here. A life to shape, a community to transform. He longs for unity and healing in this place and I think I'm catching some of his heart.
My community is a saving grace, a family whose similarity is less in looks and more in the commonality of heart and dreams. We have a rhythm of eating praying and adventuring together. Its very beautiful.
Of course I tend to shake my head, put out my bottom lip and wobble rather at the enormity of it all. But then I reach up to him mainly in desperation, he is both the safe harbor and the wild storm,
and I will learn to trust him.
Some recent Autumnal pictures and some of Pitsmore:
Family Peaks Adventure....
Pitsmore on a sunny day...
And a quick shout out for the Bennigsons who had baby Zach christened recently, gorgeous family!