Monday, 27 January 2014


I am looking out the window, watching for him. The stars are shining but I barely notice. I am watching. My heart beat going a little faster than before.

It’s new this part of marriage – sending part of me away to do something big and bold and brave.

Where he goes I go where he stays I stay.

I don’t know what to do with myself, heart in my mouth for an evening.
Even my prayers are becoming a jumbled mess. So I just turn my hope in a general upwards direction.

Hope that good things will happen for my husband – not only because our destinies are intertwined but also because he would be brilliant at this, faithful and steadfast. 

 I love the way he is boldly pursuing this future Jesus has spoken to him about.

‘We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.’

Sir Francis Drake

Monday, 20 January 2014


2014 has arrived,

Knocking politely, unassumingly on the door as its predecessor departed. Distracted, I let it in and wandered back to whatever I was doing on the computer.

Now for the first time I am considering it, sitting down for a cup of tea and peering into its length and breadth.

I think that God has said that this year will be one of Pilgrimage.

 I feel the stirring.

The call to dusty boots, sunrise walks and fellow travellers.

The call to the practice of wonder.

I feel ready to take the time to delve deep into the heart of God.

We have just finished our churches annual ‘one thing’ fast. This is our practice as a family, to take time at the beginning of the year to simplify, pause and take the time to draw close to God.

This year the fast has been stretching. After removing all the comfort that I usually find in food and drink I was left with the reality check of how much I rely on myself for all sorts of sustenance.

In his grace, God has loosened my grip on the controls a bit and I hope he will continue to do so as the year progresses.

Toby our vicar spoke today about letting go.
He commented that most of us are trying so hard to be better and to build higher that we forget the truth that God has already done all the things we are trying to do. 

It is the very act of walking closely with Jesus which enables us to let go.

 Choosing to let go of hurt, fear and control (to name but a few) will have more effect than years of trying to build other things.

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11 28-30

So I continue on into this exciting, unknown year with an open heart and an easy yoke. 

Even as I continue my day-to-day business I intend to do so with the heart of a pilgrim, characterised by a lightness and generosity, an expectation that around every corner will be deeper meaning.