Monday, 22 October 2012

My heart is tender and its time to write again, Its been so long that I'm not sure what to share.

Possibly about my new house; often full to the brim with people and laughter, food and gin (!)
But equal parts lonely beyond belief as I job hunt by myself during the days and battle off a feeling of worthlessness as I sell myself on paper.

Or I could write about this place i've given myself too, full of litter, people, people always occupying the space day and night. Sometimes in a mellow and sometimes in an abrasive way.

I've been amazed at the openness here, a man who drives an ice-cream van gave me a cone for free just because I stopped for a chat and to ask him his name. then there's the man on my road who sings ABBA to me as I walk home from work because he once caught me singing Mamma Mia to myself...!

Its strange to be living somewhere intentionally,

 I don't think I've ever done that before. Its not easy, I'm working hard to commit to it. As Autumn gets into its flow I have a deep aching feeling, remembering the adventure and promise of this time last year.

What I wouldn't give to run away to the Alps again.

Lord there is pain in this offering.

Every time I get a little bit too tempted he gently reminds me that me and him have things to do here. A life to shape, a community to transform. He longs for unity and healing in this place and I think I'm catching some of his heart.

My community is a saving grace, a family whose similarity is less in looks and more in the commonality of heart and dreams. We have a rhythm of eating praying and adventuring together. Its very beautiful.

Of course I tend to shake my head, put out my bottom lip and wobble rather at the enormity of it all. But then I reach up to him mainly in desperation, he is both the safe harbor and the wild storm,

and I will learn to trust him.

Some recent Autumnal pictures and some of Pitsmore:

Family Peaks Adventure....

Pitsmore on a sunny day...

And a quick shout out for the Bennigsons who had baby Zach christened recently, gorgeous family!


  1. Oh Rachie, the journey in staying is a hard one. I'm right here with you. Praying for job stuff- it's hard xx