When change is afoot

I've been thinking a lot about family size and shape recently. As June drawers ever closer and with it the exciting/terrifying prospect of welcoming a whole new person into our gang, I have been considering it more and more.

A while ago I found this article about how apparently higher rates of family satisfaction can be achieved depending on configuration of gender and the amount of children. It's been playing on my mind ever since...

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/8429386/Want-to-be-happy-have-two-daughters.html

The study surveyed many different families with different configurations of gender and number, then ranked them from best to worst in terms of happiness and satisfaction with their lot in life.

Interestingly enough, according to this study the  #1 configuration to have is two daughters. Families with this combination typically report higher levels of harmonious living and general satisfaction.

I had to laugh when I read that, particularly when I realized that adding a third child into the mix (and a boy to boot!) Actually lowers us down to #7 on the list!!

Now I should clarify that I set absolutely no store by this study at all. I think it could never be especially accurate on such a subjective matter as family life. Particularly as it looks to simplify and catorgarize something which is fundamentally unwieldy and complicated.

Feelings and emotions can change so rapidly. Also i'm interested to know exactly who they surveyed, even within a single family, parents and kids could have radically different feelings.

Of course, any time you change the family dynamic by having another baby is pretty nerve-racking. I remember being pregnant with Sylvie and worrying way too much about the effect having a sister so close in age would have on Clara.

As its turned out they are incredibly close and their budding relationship makes me laugh and cry fairly frequently.

 

Looking at how great they are together made me feel like it was a fantastic idea to have another baby to add to their little sibling party rather than that I should leave things well enough alone and avoid rocking the boat. (Maybe it's because I'm an optimist, I don't know!)

I am one of three, two boys and one girl (that configuration only makes it to #8 on the list but hey who's counting?!) As far as I'm concerned it was a fantastic environment to grow up in and I wouldn't have changed it for the world.

(well maayybbbe just for a little sister but that would have sent us plummeting to #11 so perhaps it was all for the best that dad went for the snip instead)

Of course there will be challenges along the way but let's just assume for a second that there are many many more factors than gender and number which come into how a family survives and thrives. 

That being said, as parents we are not superhuman and there must be some truth to the idea that the more children you have, the harder it becomes to give intentional one on one time and space and to individually cater towards children's needs.

But I hope that this doesn't have to be at the expense of positive family life.

Meanwhile in our family we have been trying to lay the groundwork a bit for the changes that are afoot. Particularly with Clara who has a pretty good understanding about the process.

It will still be a shock for them both I'm sure but we're choosing to believe that what might be lost in terms of one to one time will be more than made up for by the excitement and love the girls will have for their little brother, and the way that these relationships will grow and develop through the years.