I chose to venture out by myself this morning. It's early on a day where I could sleep in but I thought I'd seek something else instead.
The water is still from a distance but up close it's moving, alive with current and creature. Even a boat slips soundless by, filled with five sleepy eyed souls.
It is the beginnings of peace this morning vigal, country spot near city home, takes me backwards across adulthood towards my well spent adolescence where I practiced hearing his voice, longing in my loneliness to touch just the edge of his robe.
I am not often found in silence anymore, our happy marriage is full of words and my extrovert heart drinks them greedily, not recognising the signs of excess.
When will I learn the need for just a moment to expand my lungs and my heart, to move from my place lolling at the back of an apathetic crowd,
run and leap and climb a tree for even just a glimpse of him.
Only rarely when I can't sleep do I creep from our bed, carefully uncurl myself from warm arms, tiptoe across the room and open the window wide.
I don't know why but doing this opens something
in me, reminds me of a time when the only way I knew to say goodnight was with my feet resting on the roof, chapel of stars over my head.